Last Look

Robert Rosen
Photo by Michael Stewart Photography

I’ve been interviewing and advising CEOs around the world for nearly two decades. I’ve sat face-to-face with top leaders from Procter & Gamble, PepsiCo, ING, Chevron, Cadbury Schweppes and GlaxoSmithKline. And I’ve traveled throughout 35 countries, across five continents.

In fact, I turned 50 atop a mountain in Angkor Wat, Cambodia. Embraced by the natural beauty of the rain forests and awed by the manmade beauty of the temples, I sat reading Comfortable with Uncertainty by Pema Chödrön. Her words spoke to me in the silence: Instead of trying to “control the uncontrollable by looking for security and predictability,” I should “learn how to relax in the midst of chaos.” Pema Chödrön’s words had a profound effect on me that day.

I had just faced one health scare after another, from a diagnosis of atrial fibrillation and two bowel obstructions to intestinal and back surgeries. I had thought I was a healthy and fit 45-year-old guy but found myself struggling to cope with the anxiety caused by these unexpected changes in my life. So I took to heart her counsel that I learn to see uncertainty and change as part of life while believing in my ability to manage them. It was at that moment that the idea of just enough anxiety started to take form.

I realized that anxiety is a fact of life. It’s how we use it that makes all the difference. If we let it overwhelm us, it turns to panic. If we deny or run from it, we become complacent. But if we use anxiety in a positive way, we can turn it into a powerful force in our lives.

So why do most of us have trouble dealing with anxiety in the first place? Why do we try to hide from it or let ourselves get hijacked by it?

The problem lies with our faulty thinking. It goes something like this: Change and uncertainty make me anxious. Anxiety is bad, a sign of weakness. Therefore, I have to avoid change and uncertainty. Because we associate anxiety with fear and instability, we fail to see it as a major source of energy.

As I thought about it, I saw that anxiety has three faces. Too much anxiety is the face of fear. It comes from negative thinking and causes people to try to control or attack uncertainty to ease the pain they feel.

Too little anxiety is the face of complacency. It comes from the belief that all is well and there is no need for change or improvement. Just enough anxiety is the face of success. It is the right level of anxiety—at any given moment in time—that drives us forward, the exact amount we need to respond to danger, tackle a tough problem or take a leap of faith.

Most of us naturally move back and forth between too little, too much and just enough anxiety throughout our lives. But the more we can create just enough anxiety, the better able we are to live a full and fulfilling life.

And then it hit me. The world-class leaders I was interviewing and advising were masters at creating just enough anxiety, for themselves and others. Their ability to modulate the anxiety within their companies was what propelled them to the top. It brought out their best, enabled them to build great teams, and inspired and challenged the people around them.

In the years since my 50th birthday, I’ve identified the keys to developing just enough anxiety. They are an open mind, an open heart and the ability to live in three paradoxes: realistic optimism, constructive impatience and confident humility. By cultivating these qualities, I’ve learned to live with just enough anxiety and to coach top executives as they lead their organizations in uncertain times.

Learn more about JUST ENOUGH ANXIETY.