Letters et cetera

Sustained Dialogue

I read Leslie Atchley’s well-written piece, “Sustained Dialogue: a personal perspective on race,” in your April 2005 issue. I recall participating in a similarly intentioned gathering during my fourth year, but our “meeting” ended up with David Bostick, a well-liked classmate and well-respected student leader, shouting at many of us that we would never understand what it was like to be black. I agree, I will not.

While I would like to commend the University for having the Sustained Dialogue (SD) program, I would encourage all who participate (and read thereabout) to keep in mind the teachings of Dr. Martin Luther King.

King’s teachings, unlike the many subsequent bastardizations thereof, focused on those things which UNITE us all, as opposed to those things which divide us. Thus, in King’s model, there should be no African-Americans, no Mexican-Americans and no Vietnamese-Americans — there should be only AMERICANS.

This is not to discount each of our origins or ancestry(ies). But until we can look at one another without the qualifiers before the word AMERICAN, we are focusing on that which distinguishes us from one another. In American society today, as fragmented and striated as the media wants to portray it, 99 percent of us have common goals — strengthening our interpersonal or familial relationships, educating our children, and providing shelter, health care and food for us and our families. These tasks unite us all, regardless of race, religion or nationality. We are all trying to accomplish these goals on a daily basis.

So, must a white person be able to understand what it is to be black, or must a Mexican understand what it is to be Lithuanian?  Or really, shouldn’t we, as people, focus on our common goals and plights?  Might we be able to share our experiences as PEOPLE (NOT black or white people, but PEOPLE) with others in an effort to achieve the common goals?

Thus, in short, within the University’s SD program, when one speaks of race, let Dr. King’s principle be the fountainhead of the goal — focus on that which unites us as Americans and as people, not that which divides us.

Christian J. “Jake” Steinmetz III
(Rhetoric and Communication Studies ’88)
Savannah, Ga.

David Bostick responds:

From Jake’s response it’s clear that words, however true, can be lost in the poor, or perhaps emotional, delivery of those words. I clearly offended Jake, some 17 years ago now, to the point I got “called out” in print. Of course, what I said back then has no real context for me now since I don’t even remember the meeting.

I’m sorry if the manner in which I said something has caused lasting pain for a classmate. I wonder if Jake approached me then (1988), when we might have had a sustained dialogue, if we might better relate to one another today. I also wonder if Jake and I could develop a relationship today given the apparent long-lasting wounds. I bet we could.

Let me also comment on the subject of differences. I have friends of all types, and regardless of whether my friend is black or white, it is very important that I understand the differences that exist between us. I have a close friend named Vince that I’ve known since 1979 who is white (of Italian descent), Catholic, who grew up fairly comfortably. None of those things applied to me in high school. After 20 years, spectacular spouses, wonderful children, and roughly 1,000 miles between us, we’re still tight. I don’t want Vince to disregard the fact that I’m black, and neither would I disregard the fact that he’s white. We are close now not because we ignored our differences, but in recognizing and even appreciating those differences I believe it helped us to build a strong friendship. In other words, I would be cognizant of what I would serve to my vegetarian friends when I invite them to dinner, and I have to recognize the obvious differences in disciplining my 13-year-old son as opposed to my 5-year-old daughter. Vince absolutely did not and still does not understand what it’s like to be black, and I don’t know what it’s like to be white. We do both understand that we unashamedly love each other. Ultimately, there are differences, but the differences don’t make a difference.

David T. Bostick
(Rhetoric and Communication Studies ’88)
Birmingham, Ala.

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